Too bad I don’t like squash, because I think it is the coolest vegetable.

Here’s the thing: I love carnivorous plants. I don’t know why. They’re cool. They’re rubbery, eat bugs, are super neat colors, and look like aliens.

I guess that’s why.

I had a terrarium full of supposedly crowing carnivorous plants, but I left that in Hawaii.

I always think of carnivorous plants as tropical and you can’t find them anywhere but the Amazon, and when you do, they’ll be gigantic and eat you alive. But, apparently, they’re native to places like South Carolina. I dunno, Laura, do they eat you alive down there?

Today, I watched a video of a keynote speaker as he presented on passion (and personal branding, but that doesn’t have anything to do with this). I’m not going to link it because there was profanity in it that I don’t think is cool. (Kids, profanity is not cool. It’s stupid and it makes you look stupid.)

This guy said stop doing what doesn’t make you happy, because you can waste just as much money doing what makes you happy.

This in itself is not the revelation, because I’ve been saying this basically my whole life. Every human does at some point - it’s nature to want what you want. But my mom says, “Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to.”

No you don’t.

You only have to if you’re a sellout.

Revelation: I’m a sellout.

I’m tired of working a stupid job that makes me miserable. (I know! Only you can determine how you feel. Whatever.) I want to quilt. I want to paint. I’m good at it.

This keynote speaker said (paraphrase), “We’re starting businesses! We’re not partying!” I.E. word hard. This is a basic principle; I know this, my parents taught me this, even if they think I squandered the lesson.

Another revelation: It’s not news to me that school is not important, but it occurred to me: No one I know is working in the field they went to school for.

(Of course, this fell apart when I though of Jenny, so don’t nitpick.)

(Can I use two colons in one sentence?)

Conclusion: I’m giving up sleep.

ps. This post brought to you by the phenomenon known as Midnight Genius.

I see this in Alice’s future.

This weekend, I got on Buddy again. This time, I can say I actually rode him instead of just walking around the round pen. I brought out the English saddle to tack him up, but realized the western girth I’d borrowed wasn’t going to cut it. So Mom and I hauled out to the neighbor’s and got him all fancied up as he’s used to. Mom watched as I struggled with Buddy for a while. She assisted in shoving him away from the railing as he leaned in to squish me again. After that, she went to get Joanne and Cowboy Cory.

I was given some simple instructions, had minimal success, and while Joanne went to get whip so I could lunge orneryness out of him, Cowboy Cory jumped in to show Buddy who was boss. As Cory flew around the ring, Buddy was putting up some serious attitude. And Cory’s just had 4 major joints replaced… So, at watching this hideous display of bad behavior via Buddy, Mom and I scoffed at Joanne as she weeks ago said to me, “Ride Buddy, he’s a kid’s horse. No problem!” And I didn’t feel so bad that I had such trouble last time.

I also don’t feel so bad now that my whole body is sore, considering Cory said Buddy’s a pretty rough ride. Man alive. Two days later and I’m still walking bow-legged.

Sunday, I went to church where Brandon Bell’s dad preaches. I think he has Celiac Disease. No, I’m serious.

Mom and I went on Saturday to the Edom Art Festival! We were looking for a saddle stand and a longhorn rug. Instead, Mom came away with… a soap dispenser. I tried to convince her to buy a Ryan Ayer’s piece, but I wasn’t successful. Someday, I’d like to myself.

Oh yeah, she got a metal goat, too. You know those lame people who have fake animals in their front yard? Surprisingly, there’s a lot of that in the country. As if there wasn’t real wildlife to look at. I could understand if fake deer fooled real deer into thinking that your front yard is safe and then they hang out. But, plastic ducks? Plastic pigs? What kind of pink pigs are wandering the countryside?

To me, fake animals are pretty much on the same level as fake plants. Just say no.

But, she got this metal goat as a mock to the fake animal trend. It also holds a potted plant, so it’s cool.

earlier
me: “Alice peed on my bed.”
mom: “Clean it up.”
me: “She was digging in my sponge rollers, maybe she thought it was big litter.”

later
me: “Pearlie, get over here, or I’m going to bring those kittens in here.”
mom as Pearlie: “Kittens aren’t allowed on the bed, they might wee.”
me: “You’ve weed plenty of places before.”
mom as Pearlie: “Only outside and on my wee pads. …and right beside my wee pads, when I thought my hiney was on it.”
me: “In Alice’s defense, she probably thought her hiney was in my sponge rollers.”
mom as Pearlie: “When you’re little, sometimes you just can’t tell where your hiney is.”

In the quilting world…

grandma: “I’m bidding on your quilt and the monkey. Well, I’m bidding on them until I get them.”
me: “It would be nice if my quilt ended up outside the family, Grandma. If you get it, my circle of influence remains as it was.”
grandma: “Hmm, I see how that might be true.”

And yet, I saw the wheels continue to turn behind her dark brown eyes, plotting a way she could keep my quilt and still give me business.

Patsy: “I tried to use that machine quilting thing, but I showed it to Foy and he said, ‘Well, were you shakin’ all over?’ It was like I had The Palsy!”

That’s the woman I learned to quilt from. Her husband bought her a new machine. :)

In the real world…

Two things I’ve been considering selling my car for (don’t tell my car):

On a sidenote, I got two emails today. One notified me of a bilingual position I’d applied for (someone else applied me, not me). The second notified me that I’d been rejected in favor of more qualified candidates. I’m a amusedly (?) miffed at this correspondence!

ps. I updated iTunes the other day, and I’m having so much trouble with it… anyone else? Lousy, skippy, and slow.

mom: “You like funny.”
me: “I do like funny.”

What I said: I listen to an exorbitant amount of classical music.
addendum: But I still can’t tell one piece from another.

Who wants to see Twilight with me? (*wink wink nudge nudge*) I can’t decide if I want to see it the night it comes out or not. If I did, would it be stupid of me to dress up like Hermione Granger? In informal boycott, of course. Maybe a very pale, ethereal Hermione?

I’m almost done with the 4th book. I’ve slowed down to get some other things done. But, I’ve taken the week off from quilting. (It’s nice to be my own boss of something and say, “I’m taking the week off.”)

Though, I’m very excited about what’s planned for Melissa’s! It has to do with my favorite Starbucks card… that I had to order off of eBay. Whatever.

I heard it was $2.79 somewhere in the Dallas area today.