Ominous.

Anyway, in celebration of my last day at some nameless corporately owned coffee establishment, I got a manicure and pedicure.

I hate these things; they make me uncomfortable, they hurt and/or tickle, and I usually get hit on by women. This time, the pain was minimal, I was able to withstand minor tickling, and no one hit on me.

In fact, someone who barely spoke English leaned into me and said, “You need eyebrow wax?” Um, no thank you.

What’s wrong with my eyebrows?

I wasn’t, however, able to work my massage chair because, while I may own and operate my own website, use a fancy sewing machine, and make my grandma’s computer print, I cannot work a self-explanatory (or so I’m told) remote control or switch lines on my cell phone.

I usually come away saying, “I could do better than this,” but this time I didn’t. So, thanks for the recommendation, Jenni.

Grandma comes to places with snacks. Recently, her snacks have been a trail mix by Sprouts that includes Toasted Corn. I love the corn. Last week, Grandma bought me some corn. It pertains to the next story; that’s the only reason I told you this one.

This weekend, in the life of Meagan, I walked down to the donkey pen to see if I could tempt Henry with some toasted corn…

…but I was distracted by the sound of a golf cart (okay, it makes no sound because it’s electric) headed toward a small herd of angus that had wandered onto our property.

(Uh, did I do the flash wrong on that one?) I thought Dad and Cowboy Cory were going to round them up and herd them on down the street, so I climbed Buddy’s fence and walked purposefully across his pasture toward the cows. Dad and Cory didn’t come, but I didn’t realize they weren’t until I was already there, however my presence caused the cows to scatter (even though there was a fence between us).

As I got to the fence and started taking pictures of the oddly small cattle, Buddy suddenly became interested in me. He ambled over and stole the corn I’d been saving for Henry.

(Yes, it’s corn in that yellow Hello Kitty container.) Then he nudged me, pushed me, and wiggled his oddly dexterous lips at me trying to find more. I climbed up onto the gate to watch the cows graze back toward me, and Buddy stayed with me. Over me, under me, pushing me, laying his large cumbersome head in my lap.

After I sat for a while and got sufficiently dirty, I hopped down and wandered off to the barn. As I approached, Nala, the neighbor’s Weimaraner, started barking at me like she didn’t know who I was.

So, instead of inciting an attack, I stood outside the barn and let Cowboy Cory berate her for her treatment of me. Then, I wandered around the barn and found my first deadly spider. (They are deadly, yeah?)

Dad squashed it. (Black Widow, in case you can’t tell. Click on it and it’ll get bigger. If you’re not chicken.)

It was slightly disconcerting to see that it was in the same stall Mom has been putting the kittens in during the day.

Speaking of the kittens, I returned to the breezeway from the barn and sat down with Alice and Jasper where I related the story of the black widow (and all things before) in a text message. (Apparently it was actually 3.)

Of course, the text was cut short by Alice who plucked a sticker from my jeans and got it stuck in her mouth. I grabbed her and ran in a panic to my mother who did an emergency sticker-ectomy with some tweezers.

That was frightening.

By the way, if someone saw my bare legs today, they’d probably think I was a cutter. The cats are getting heavier and sharper. That’s Pearlie’s biggest complaint: “Those kittens are too sharp.”

Today, I followed Mom back to Dallas to do some fabric shopping. Please note here that I was following my Mom. She passed a car, so I was passing with her. This jerk (it’s coming up) in a silver Pontiac cut in between us. I made sure to give him as much room as he was giving my mother, but he decided to flip me off anyway. Then, he slammed on his breaks so hard that his tires smoked and I could smell them. I honked.

A lot.

Then he did it again. When he got over to the right and I passed him with my mom, I put on my cruise so he could tailgate me all he wanted to appease his roadrage and I wouldn’t hit him.

Sometimes people are just jerks.

But anyway, some of you will be pleased to know that I managed to get her to (She thinks I railroaded because I was able to accomplish this in only one store when she had a list of several to go to. However, because I won, we got to eat at Kabab.) buy fabric for curtains in both back bedrooms. Thus far, there have been no window coverings. And while I’m okay with that while there’s an empty house, I doubted a house and yard full of Thanksgiving (or are we calling it my birthday this year?) guests would appreciate the lack of privacy due to no curtains. For some reason, she doesn’t trust me to finish the curtains. Maybe it’s because of that time I made a 12-square quilt in 9. Who knows. But anyway, I’ll assemble them, she’ll finish, and they’ll be up in time. They’re awesome. I’m just letting you know.

Oh, and then tonight I had a guy lump me with all women everywhere. He made assumptions about me, then told me how I felt, then wouldn’t let me correct him. To top it off, he said he’d pray for me. What’s that about?

Five more days of serving coffee to the most high maintenance people in the world. :) Sometimes I wonder why some of them don’t buy espresso machines and make it themselves. It would be cheaper. But then they’d have no one to gripe at when it came out wrong. Ah, I say it with humor. It’s amusing, but only in a sad, depressing way. Anything someone can control…

Rumor has it, Obama’s going to try to ban handguns. This is lunacy. “And… is the Constitution going to play into that decision at all? I mean, there’s no reasonable reason he should succeed, right?” I don’t know.

In A Little While, the Hanson version

Today, I watched a video of a keynote speaker as he presented on passion (and personal branding, but that doesn’t have anything to do with this). I’m not going to link it because there was profanity in it that I don’t think is cool. (Kids, profanity is not cool. It’s stupid and it makes you look stupid.)

This guy said stop doing what doesn’t make you happy, because you can waste just as much money doing what makes you happy.

This in itself is not the revelation, because I’ve been saying this basically my whole life. Every human does at some point - it’s nature to want what you want. But my mom says, “Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to.”

No you don’t.

You only have to if you’re a sellout.

Revelation: I’m a sellout.

I’m tired of working a stupid job that makes me miserable. (I know! Only you can determine how you feel. Whatever.) I want to quilt. I want to paint. I’m good at it.

This keynote speaker said (paraphrase), “We’re starting businesses! We’re not partying!” I.E. word hard. This is a basic principle; I know this, my parents taught me this, even if they think I squandered the lesson.

Another revelation: It’s not news to me that school is not important, but it occurred to me: No one I know is working in the field they went to school for.

(Of course, this fell apart when I though of Jenny, so don’t nitpick.)

(Can I use two colons in one sentence?)

Conclusion: I’m giving up sleep.

ps. This post brought to you by the phenomenon known as Midnight Genius.

mom: “You like funny.”
me: “I do like funny.”

What I said: I listen to an exorbitant amount of classical music.
addendum: But I still can’t tell one piece from another.

Who wants to see Twilight with me? (*wink wink nudge nudge*) I can’t decide if I want to see it the night it comes out or not. If I did, would it be stupid of me to dress up like Hermione Granger? In informal boycott, of course. Maybe a very pale, ethereal Hermione?

I’m almost done with the 4th book. I’ve slowed down to get some other things done. But, I’ve taken the week off from quilting. (It’s nice to be my own boss of something and say, “I’m taking the week off.”)

Though, I’m very excited about what’s planned for Melissa’s! It has to do with my favorite Starbucks card… that I had to order off of eBay. Whatever.

I heard it was $2.79 somewhere in the Dallas area today.

“I’m sorry,” I replied miserably to a customer, “I’m reading a new book and it’s affecting my mood.”

I finished said book late this morning. It’s pretty much all I can think about, and now I’m onto the next one in the series. But, not before forcing myself to wait three hours while I knotted some more strings on a quilt I’m going to owe Sharon this weekend.

In fact, I didn’t dog-ear anything until I paused at page 216 to get icecream for dinner (and write this blog).

I should mention, one of my crabs died and I discovered it today. It was my new female. I’m going to attribute it to PPS (post purchase shock… or syndrome?) which is what all the crab-heads talk about. It’s too bad. I hadn’t given her a name yet, but she was nice and blue.

I kind of think I’m going to be an unpleasant person to be around for a year or so after I finish these books. Maybe that’s why I stopped reading. And going to movies.

Ben Folds says, “Won’t you let me walk away sometimes?”

I don’t live in a constant state of reality, so when I have a moment of clarity, I often think, “This is my life? How did I get here?”

I went to the franch (see: farm) the (long for me) weekend of my Uncle Keith’s meeting at church. A “neighbor” had been wanting to get her horses exercised, so I decided to ride. Now… I haven’t ridden in four years or more. And, Buddy hadn’t been ridden in eight months or more. And, I’m not exactly a Western rider. But hey, anything to get on a horse.

In fact, Cowboy Cory said, “I could tell you rode English from the second you got on. You were sittin pretty straight.”

See, the first saddle is what I was using. The second is what I’m used to. Granted, while you’re riding English, your stirrups aren’t up that high (that’s for storage), but I just don’t know what to do with my dangling useless feet in those big, clunky western stirrups! And all I’ll say about reigning is: horses seem to respond much better to English reins than Western.

I’m not saying one way is better than the other, I’m just saying I’m better at one way and both Buddy and I were very confused. After about an hour, he leaned against the round pin and I opted to get off and take him in, rather than have him crush my leg.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to this weekend, when I can do it again.

Speaking of Uncle Keith, his meeting was wonderful. Words cannot express. Well, here’s some: Even though I had to get up every morning at 4:30 and I did not get a nap, I was still there every night. I even went to another meeting this weekend and was mostly disgruntled, and I think it’s Keith’s fault. That’s probably not appropriate to say. No, I know it’s not his fault. The rest is probably not appropriate either.

I know, only I can decide how I feel.

Dad has determined that I need to keep gas in my car and keep a gas can full with me. I’ve determined I need my own girl-friendly gas can because the ones in the garage have too many rules, and they’re gross. Can you buy a gas can at Lowe’s?

I roasted some pumpkin seeds, and burned them, so I won’t show pictures. I remember these being delicious, though. My hermit crabs seemed to enjoy them.

Speaking of Uncle Keith, Grandma got her neighbor to host an impromptu photo shoot over the weekend. Here’s some lovely highlights: (link to Family 2008 set)

I chose these not because they’re “portrait”, but because they’re real and interesting. I’d be okay if I never saw another portrait as long as I lived. Thanks, Alex Garza for being awesome (no, he was not the photographer here).

Started reading Twilight on Friday. I’m half way done. I’ve decided that Stephanie Meyer is not a great writer. In fact, she’s a fairly mundane writer. However, that never stopped J.K. Rowling, either. Meyer’s story, though, is pretty enthralling and I’m able to forgo the writing style and enjoy it. Sadly, these books give me the same depression that seeing an excellent movie gives me.

Alas.

I will admit, the more I waste time reading from stepheniemeyer.com, the more I like her. (Better than JK, who I was never fond of.) I like even more that she offers a playlist for each book (anybody who uses that much Muse must be okay). That’s something I would do. If I were to ever finish anything. My mom was right.

Last but not least, this week is not my last week at my stupid “wear a hat” store, as originally intended. I’m pretty annoyed about that. I’m also pretty annoyed that the creepy guy I interviewed with called me today and said, “Um, I’ve been getting calls from other stores telling me you’re working there,” as if I told him I was going to work at his store… Which I did not, for the very reason that he is creepy. “Thanks for telling me! Ugh!” I did. I did!

Oh well. In the whole thing, obviously the Lord’s will is being done in that I’m not leaving my store yet. Ugh is right, Creepy Guy. What do I have to do to get Evan graduated so I can be he paralegal, huh?

Oh yeah, and this is currently my song that makes all other songs obsolete - aka why have other songs?