I’ve spent my whole life waiting.

…for whatever I think is going to happen.

Tonight on the way home from church, I stopped at a coffee shop and got a solo short, no whip, half inch of room Signature Hot Chocolate, and ran into a good friend. I sat down for a minute and he told me that he was just reading one of his friend’s blogs who wrote about the neon sign that everyone has above their head. You know, what your presence is saying to the world.

Mine is, “Is it over yet?” or, “Are we done yet?”

Over the years, this has meant a lot of different things. Recently it’s been meaning 1) “Am I done with this ridiculous job yet?” 2) “Isn’t this election over yet?” and 3) “Hasn’t the economy crashed so I can move to the country yet?”

This is probably not a good way to live my life, but I’ve never lived in the moment. Oh well.

grandma: “Do you remember the calves? We had sheep, too, but that was before you were born. April only had them one at a time. Can you still call them sheep then? You can’t call it a shep… Sheep doesn’t sound right.”

I went to Kabab for lunch! I haven’t been since Uncle Keith’s meeting. I walked in and this strange man tried to seat me. I gave him a funny look, then walked to my usual seat. Then I saw the owner’s son and asked about him, and he said this guy has been around a while. I guess I just haven’t seen him.

That was kind of a boring story, huh?

But gasp! I ate there by myself, and read my book. :)

I’ve been watching a new Dugger Family special on TLC tonight. That family’s so neat. Going on 18 kids, I believe.

6 Degrees of Separation from the Dugger’s: me, my dad, Edwin Viera, Meredith Viera, The Duggers!

This weekend (among other things I did) I fulfilled life-long dream #2 (#1 being the 4th of July thing) of going to a haunted house! I’ve never been because my lame friends won’t go with me. (That’s right, lame, like an old horse.) But James did, and it was awesome!

Not so much scary, but fun. I think I want to be in one next year. I wonder how I can pull that off.

(Okay, so I went one other time at FC, but that doesn’t count because FC is alternate reality.)

Wii Music! Neat!

ps. I’m sorry, Jenny. I, uh, meant to call you. But I, uh, drowned my phone. That last part is true.

Today, I watched a video of a keynote speaker as he presented on passion (and personal branding, but that doesn’t have anything to do with this). I’m not going to link it because there was profanity in it that I don’t think is cool. (Kids, profanity is not cool. It’s stupid and it makes you look stupid.)

This guy said stop doing what doesn’t make you happy, because you can waste just as much money doing what makes you happy.

This in itself is not the revelation, because I’ve been saying this basically my whole life. Every human does at some point - it’s nature to want what you want. But my mom says, “Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to.”

No you don’t.

You only have to if you’re a sellout.

Revelation: I’m a sellout.

I’m tired of working a stupid job that makes me miserable. (I know! Only you can determine how you feel. Whatever.) I want to quilt. I want to paint. I’m good at it.

This keynote speaker said (paraphrase), “We’re starting businesses! We’re not partying!” I.E. word hard. This is a basic principle; I know this, my parents taught me this, even if they think I squandered the lesson.

Another revelation: It’s not news to me that school is not important, but it occurred to me: No one I know is working in the field they went to school for.

(Of course, this fell apart when I though of Jenny, so don’t nitpick.)

(Can I use two colons in one sentence?)

Conclusion: I’m giving up sleep.

ps. This post brought to you by the phenomenon known as Midnight Genius.

“I’m sorry,” I replied miserably to a customer, “I’m reading a new book and it’s affecting my mood.”

I finished said book late this morning. It’s pretty much all I can think about, and now I’m onto the next one in the series. But, not before forcing myself to wait three hours while I knotted some more strings on a quilt I’m going to owe Sharon this weekend.

In fact, I didn’t dog-ear anything until I paused at page 216 to get icecream for dinner (and write this blog).

I should mention, one of my crabs died and I discovered it today. It was my new female. I’m going to attribute it to PPS (post purchase shock… or syndrome?) which is what all the crab-heads talk about. It’s too bad. I hadn’t given her a name yet, but she was nice and blue.

I kind of think I’m going to be an unpleasant person to be around for a year or so after I finish these books. Maybe that’s why I stopped reading. And going to movies.

Ben Folds says, “Won’t you let me walk away sometimes?”

I don’t live in a constant state of reality, so when I have a moment of clarity, I often think, “This is my life? How did I get here?”

I went to the franch (see: farm) the (long for me) weekend of my Uncle Keith’s meeting at church. A “neighbor” had been wanting to get her horses exercised, so I decided to ride. Now… I haven’t ridden in four years or more. And, Buddy hadn’t been ridden in eight months or more. And, I’m not exactly a Western rider. But hey, anything to get on a horse.

In fact, Cowboy Cory said, “I could tell you rode English from the second you got on. You were sittin pretty straight.”

See, the first saddle is what I was using. The second is what I’m used to. Granted, while you’re riding English, your stirrups aren’t up that high (that’s for storage), but I just don’t know what to do with my dangling useless feet in those big, clunky western stirrups! And all I’ll say about reigning is: horses seem to respond much better to English reins than Western.

I’m not saying one way is better than the other, I’m just saying I’m better at one way and both Buddy and I were very confused. After about an hour, he leaned against the round pin and I opted to get off and take him in, rather than have him crush my leg.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to this weekend, when I can do it again.

Speaking of Uncle Keith, his meeting was wonderful. Words cannot express. Well, here’s some: Even though I had to get up every morning at 4:30 and I did not get a nap, I was still there every night. I even went to another meeting this weekend and was mostly disgruntled, and I think it’s Keith’s fault. That’s probably not appropriate to say. No, I know it’s not his fault. The rest is probably not appropriate either.

I know, only I can decide how I feel.

Dad has determined that I need to keep gas in my car and keep a gas can full with me. I’ve determined I need my own girl-friendly gas can because the ones in the garage have too many rules, and they’re gross. Can you buy a gas can at Lowe’s?

I roasted some pumpkin seeds, and burned them, so I won’t show pictures. I remember these being delicious, though. My hermit crabs seemed to enjoy them.

Speaking of Uncle Keith, Grandma got her neighbor to host an impromptu photo shoot over the weekend. Here’s some lovely highlights: (link to Family 2008 set)

I chose these not because they’re “portrait”, but because they’re real and interesting. I’d be okay if I never saw another portrait as long as I lived. Thanks, Alex Garza for being awesome (no, he was not the photographer here).

Started reading Twilight on Friday. I’m half way done. I’ve decided that Stephanie Meyer is not a great writer. In fact, she’s a fairly mundane writer. However, that never stopped J.K. Rowling, either. Meyer’s story, though, is pretty enthralling and I’m able to forgo the writing style and enjoy it. Sadly, these books give me the same depression that seeing an excellent movie gives me.

Alas.

I will admit, the more I waste time reading from stepheniemeyer.com, the more I like her. (Better than JK, who I was never fond of.) I like even more that she offers a playlist for each book (anybody who uses that much Muse must be okay). That’s something I would do. If I were to ever finish anything. My mom was right.

Last but not least, this week is not my last week at my stupid “wear a hat” store, as originally intended. I’m pretty annoyed about that. I’m also pretty annoyed that the creepy guy I interviewed with called me today and said, “Um, I’ve been getting calls from other stores telling me you’re working there,” as if I told him I was going to work at his store… Which I did not, for the very reason that he is creepy. “Thanks for telling me! Ugh!” I did. I did!

Oh well. In the whole thing, obviously the Lord’s will is being done in that I’m not leaving my store yet. Ugh is right, Creepy Guy. What do I have to do to get Evan graduated so I can be he paralegal, huh?

Oh yeah, and this is currently my song that makes all other songs obsolete - aka why have other songs?

Someone said this to me. Well, they said, “…you know, if you were a real girl.”

I just kind of stopped talking after that. And, I just want to note that it was said. And pretty much how ridiculously hurtful it was. If I were MJ, I would have taken my skin off.

It may be the last one the majority can spend in blissful ignorance.