I dreamed about a frienemy. He came to my epic 4th of July party where there was CHEESECAKE on STICKS, but nobody invited him, he just showed up in his dad’s silver classic, old Land Rover. He had these miniatures with him. Tiny miniature gnomes and trees and cars, and they were all bronze, and he put them down, rifled through them and then disappeared to make rounds. I sat down with the miniatures and thought, this is awesome – best party every – GNOMES in tiny bronze size. Mind you, this party was a lot like the actual flea market and less like the political show we really had.

And then, the frienemy loaded up in his car and left. I grabbed his box of tiny things and shoved it at the car. It wasn’t his, he said. He got it from my garage shelf.

And when he got to the end of the driveway, he stopped the Land Rover, got out and jumped on a donkey to go the rest of the way.

After we got married, my dad said I had to go to a meeting before we took pictures, so he pulled me off to this round table where a bunch of people were sitting. I sat beside Jill and she kept saying how she was sorry I couldn’t go to the park that night. The wedding felt like it was a last minute thing, eventhough it had been really planned. Then my husband got off a bus with a bunch of other guys and he came to sit beside me. He took my hand and then he popped the last two fingers on my right hand. What was that about?

Anyway, it was weird. The whole time I felt like it was really fast, but I wasn’t going to complain because it meant I could go home and clean house.

My dream progressed to a part where I didn’t know people, but they kept trying to touch my leg, measure it, make things for it, and one guy even put a strip of Scotch tape over my bandage. I think he wanted to make me a split. But it hurt when he tried to take the tape off because he poked me right in the bullet hole. So I smacked him and took the tape off myself.

And THEN, I dreamed about waking up and telling people about the dream where I was shot! I think that dream regressed, though, because I ended up in my aunt’s wedding carrying a big doll house and limping because …I was shot.

Later on in that dream, I had a Chihuahua who was so small that he was invisible. I still think I should have been able to see it though, because I had to watch where it was going by the footprints it made in its water.